Nevermind

Sitting at home these days and very tempted to write down my daily routine but i have been warned by my good friend against writing what she calls the… “I got up in the morning brushed my teeth..”or “sher-O- shayiri” kinda blogs. But monotony has hit life that hard, its come down to just those things…..i’ve been doin all those crazy things... right from jamming, headbanging to stuffs like growing hair(luks quite kool on me:D)..lol….still need a change. Hasn't been entirely monotonous at another level though there have been some downs (the compensating ups are missing i hope they come in bulk :D ). For example a friend of mine recently while pointing out good points and bad about me called me self centered and self obsessed! Shocked the speech out of me (People who know me will understand the seriousness of this expression!).

While it can be said that maybe he dint know me that well…maybe he dint mean it as harshly or whatever the fact is, it disturbed me a lot. Goes to show how unsure we are of ourselves and how much we depend on others... however close or distant for constant approval.
Logically speaking I could invalidate what he said... but then at some corner of my heart i yet doubt myself... or do... self centered...really?? Hmmm...thats a tough one...

Stepping one level deeper.... the thirst to achieve something and the yearning for success and meaning in life has overtaken me. I believe if I dont do something about it fast it will destroy me. The simple joy of wanting something, working for it and getting results eludes me. I'm beginning to attribute it to inherent character flaws and inability and that can't be good…still it’s a kind of perception…that might b different for u….

Oh well...whatever...Nevermind....m self obsessed!!!!